I never choose the right present for my grandchildren I am told by my daughter sighed grandma. But They are always very grateful. They are very well brought us and are grateful for whatever they receive. Their mother tells me.
Could you try and get it right, for once mum.
What to do, what to do? Barbie is the key to birthday happiness this year I am told. Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. Blinded by Barbie. Pink, sparkly, teeth, hair and full accessories. By accessories I mean Ken I guess.
Grandma leafed through the pages of The Argos Catalogue, the Barbie would be easy to pick up during the weekly shop.
So, this year I will try and be informed. Page 58 Barbie World. She read.
The diverse range of Barbies reflect the world kids see today. They have to see it and feel comfortable. The fashionista range will include a more diverse representation of the world we live in.
Interesting. I wonder if they deliver? She continued to read.
Barbie fashionistas doll #130 wheel chair supplied. Sounds good a little more representative of our world.. Ah it has been withdrawn an embarrassing own goal, the Barbie dream house is not accessible and the wheel chair won’t fit through the front door. Definitely a good reflection of the world as we know it.
Football Ken An own goal During the women's Euros.
Rainbow Barbie, a gentle nod to the LGBTQ+ community. Would a non binary Barbie be called Ben or may be karbie? Karbie might be more suitable for non binary work out doll, mused Grandma.
Type 1 diabetes Barbie has a really cool CGM (continuous glucose monitor), an insulin pump, in a paisley carrying case. Now she sounds interesting. High risk on the what I want for my birthday scale
The Barbie I need is one where there are no expectations where nothing is known scant instructions, few clues, maybe the odd accessory.
Grandma turned to page 60. Mystery Barbie. Now she seems ideal No fault can be attached to me regarding birthday gift choices. The idea is that you play with the mystery doll and try and work out which fashionista she is. If you bring her back to the shop and guess right you win ……… a financial reward!
Happy birthday darling, grandma hugged her grand daughter who quickly tore the wrapping paper off her birthday gift.
Thank you Grandma, it’s perfect, I haven’t got one of these and I might even win a prize. It seemed that as well brought up as the granddaughter was these were genuine words of gratitude, warm and heart-felt.
Mystery Barbie
by Tim Pitman
First performed at :


